We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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