It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
