I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
