DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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