new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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