He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
