So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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