Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
