I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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