3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We are all done wearing pants today
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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