sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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