oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize