Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
