I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
