I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
