is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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