i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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