then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
