flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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