You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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