Pants 0. Shit 1.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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