It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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