I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
