theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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