I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
