Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
