So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize