I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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