She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
the raccoons are back...
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