And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
