My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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