Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
