every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
