For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
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I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
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Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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