To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
