do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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