i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
