Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
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hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There's always time for handjobs
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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