were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
