i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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