I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
