i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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