Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
only you would photoshop your dick
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
please don't ironically join a cult
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