just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
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