Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
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