So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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