Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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