1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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