so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
