My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
