I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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