I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
