In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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