hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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