it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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