The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand