i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
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Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
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Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
And then my night got REAL pukey
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?