Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.