Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
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I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
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There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.