i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
