I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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